Mowing, Broken Dishes, & a Sore Back

Food

Breakfast – sweet potato (maybe 1/2 cup cooked?), 1 lean sausage patty, 3 slices of bacon, 1 egg

Lunch – spaghetti with Italian chicken sausage, tomato sauce, beet greens, and mozzarella cheese, watermelon

Snack – dark chocolate cherry cashew Kind bar, cereal with milk

Dinner – pork tenderloin, mashed potatoes, corn, pluot

Snack – popcorn, green juice

I feel like I should disclaim my food.  I clearly eat a lot of fat.  In the past, I have lost weight while eating clean yet eating a great amount of (clean) fats.  I plan to continue following this trend.  So long as the food is clean and has no fake ingredients, then I’m not going to worry about fat grams.  So long as I lose roughly two pounds a week, I’ll continue to not worry about it.

I am doing my very best to learn to eat intuitively.  I want to enjoy my food and yet eat without guilt WHILE appropriately restricting myself.  I have read blogs where people no longer enjoy their food.  This whole notion of “food is just fuel” is not for me.  I’m from the South.  Food is celebration, and I plan to celebrate as healthily as I can.  That’s why I allow myself one controlled serving of clean “sweet” per day.  It’s why I still eat wheat.

More than that, I know me, and if I restrict myself in major ways (no sugar, no wheat, no whatever), then I end up binging.  And if you are going to say, “Just don’t binge,” then (respectfully) you clearly have no idea how binging works.  It isn’t a matter of exercising more self-control.  At all.

I’m also not talking about giving up anything, but for foods that don’t make me feel bad (such as sugar in small amounts or wheat), I see no need to restrict PROVIDED I continue to lose weight.  If I show a loss next Saturday, then I’ll continue as is.  If I gain, then I’ll obviously reevaluate and determine what needs to be done.

In learning to eat intuitively, there are times that I feel like I need a little guardian to hang out in my fridge and pantry to slap my wrists when I start eating too much.  After all, even with clean food, you can eat too much, and because it’s clean, it’s even easier for me to justify it and eat too much.

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(For what it’s worth, Goldar now lives in my fridge.)

But that’s precisely the reason why I NEED to learn to eat like this.  I am tired of being at food’s mercy.  I need to be back in control.

Exercise for the day did not work out quite as planned.  I ended up push mowing the yard at my other house (which is soon to sell!  Yay!).  It was in desperate need of mowing, because all it has done here is rain for the past week and I haven’t been able to.  Body Revolution will (hopefully) start tomorrow.  It also didn’t help that my back has been aching.  I have a partially slipped disc in my lower back; I’ve had it for years.  For the most part, it is kind to me and it doesn’t bother me.  Since July 4th (when I unfortunately splurged a little too much), my body has been angry at me.  I suspect today will be the last day.  I certainly hope so.  The pain makes exercising a lot tougher.  And again, the back is another reason why I need to both get the weight off AND increase my flexibility.

Still, I’m just grateful to know that eating clean and living well DOES help.  Hopefully, I’ll remember that the next time I’m facing the choice of poor food.

At dinner, I had made some clean pork gravy.  I was pretty excited about it.  It was made with tapioca starch instead of white flour, and it tasted good.  However, about four seconds before I was going to take it to the kitchen table, my Ninja blender rolled out of the cabinet, shattered the bowl it was in, and gravy went EVERYWHERE.  I was so ticked off.  First of all, I really hate breaking dishes.  I was never fussed at about it as a child, but you would think I had been beaten for the way it makes me feel.  Literally makes me furious.  And worse yet – that bowl was a nice one of a 4-piece set that we had gotten on vacation.  And the gravy was completely wasted.

Lame, but oh well.

After dinner, I cleaned up the kitchen and we watched t.v.  30 Rock, again.  We’re on season seven.  I’m going to miss this show!

I am absolutely starving.  Today is an Empty Day.  That said, I’m listening to Goldar, and I’m done eating for the day!

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12-31-13 - 412.0
1-3-14 - 407.0 (-5.0 pounds total)