Bracket

Match-Up #8: Yoga Booty vs. a Boring Gym Routine

I get more and more behind on these all the time. And really, as I’ve been a bit grounded from traditional exercise for the last week (minor injury resulted in me not being able to work out in the traditional sense), I should have already caught up. But I did not, so today, I’ll get one post closer. (And I need to post sooner, because by the time I get around to posting it, sometimes it’s been a week or more (much more, in this case), and I’ve forgotten a bit about the videos. Whoops.)

This match-up is between Yoga Booty Ballet (Tina’s suggestion) and the Abs Diet Workout 2.

I’ll be honest – Yoga Booty Ballet was a LOT more fun than I was expecting it to be. It involves dancing, yoga, and some light toning type moves.

However, it didn’t burn NEARLY as many calories as I would have guessed it would. I like the yoga aspect, because I am SO stiff, I need to stretch more, but I wanted more dancing to get more of a sweat going. Didn’t happen, although I did burn enough calories that I’d be willing to do this workout again.

The second video in the match up was the Abs Diet Workout 2. (I can’t find Abs Diet Workout 1.)

This video was boring. It consisted of some guy coaching two women lifting weights on a boring set.

For a long time.

There was a cardio session, too, but this is not a video that I would ever select to do for fun.

So who was the winner?

Abs Diet Workout 2. Of course. The boring video.

I can’t say I hated this video, because it wasn’t dangerous, it wasn’t too easy, it wasn’t too hard, and it wasn’t overly complicated. It was just boring. The closet analogy I can think of is imagine going to the gym to lift weights and run on the treadmill for an hour, but you forgot your iPod at home and the gym’s music speakers are boring, so all you have to listen to is gym noise. You still get a good workout, but dang. It was boring.

When this video shows up in the next round, I may put a little music on in the background to help me get through this video, because the calorie burn was decent and I do feel like I got a good workout.

How do you get through a boring workout?

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Match-Up #6 – Broadway Dancing vs. Fighting?

I am slowly catching up on my brackets! I’m also VERY close to getting to post a new pound lost, but today was not the day, so instead, I shall tell of the matchup between Richard Simmons’ Broadway Sweat and Fat Burning Kickboxing Workout for Dummies.

I’ve shared my fondness of Richard Simmons before, but somehow, this was a workout video that I had in my collection that I had never done. It came out in the early 2000s, well after the Sweatin’ phase, and I suppose that is why I ended up never having done it.

This video honestly had one of the most fun “sets” I’ve ever seen on an exercise video. Usually, exercise videos are set in some very oddly decorated room, like a cross between a waiting room, an abandoned warehouse, and a vase storage facility. (Seriously – pay attention to how many vases you see sitting in the background of exercise videos. You’ll be amazed.)

This one was on a stage, complete with curtains and lights, and for every Broadway song, they changed the set decorations. The songs ranged from “Ease on Down the Road” from The Wiz and Tomorrow from “Annie.” There were some songs that I didn’t know, but they were all plenty of fun.

The other video was Fat Burning Kickboxing Workout for Dummies, once again starring the blonde British kickboxer Keli Roberts.

This one was not as strenuous as her 10 Minute Solutions workout. It was a tough workout, but again, I miss the participants. I like Keli, but I still want to see other people working out in the background. It consisted of several rounds of increasingly complex kickboxing patterns.

So who is the winner?

I’ll admit to being surprised. Broadway Sweat! I’m going to say it’s probably due to the length of the video (Broadway Sweat was about 20 minutes longer), but there you go. Another of Richard’s videos is moving into the next round of the bracket!

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367 Weigh-In: Friday the 13th

I am now at 367! Actually, I’m a bit below that. Yesterday, my weight was 367.03, but it hadn’t quite reached 367, so I waited, expecting today would be the day. It was, and then some. 366.73. Woo hoo! Let’s see how quickly I can get down to 366.

One pound gone forever! Hallelujah!

Oh, and it’s Friday the 13th! For horror buffs like myself, today is a national holiday.

I’m just going to give a quick hodgepodge of points today.

As you may know, my wife is pregnant with our first child. Our official public announcement of our pregnancy was via a fake horror movie trailer. Well, it’s fitting that today, on Friday the 13th, we found out the sex of our baby. I’ll post a more detailed post in a few days about it. If you are friends with me on facebook, you’ll find out sooner, if you are so interested. And if you aren’t friends with me on facebook, why not? Friend me!

I am dealing with some major stiffness. Some time ago, I was diagnosed with a slipped disk in my lower back. I went to the chiropractor for several months and my resulting leg pain was pretty much eliminated. Well, stiffness is creeping into my OTHER leg, and I expect my weight and related back issues have something to do with it. I’m going to start going back to the chiropractor to see if I can get adjusted. Best yet, I found a chiropractor here in town who addresses more than just physical ailments. She also deals with nutrition, emotional therapy (of sorts), and holistic healing. Yeah, it’s a little granola hippie crunchy, but really… so am I. I’m looking forward to starting that soon, hoping that the combination of losing weight and a few good back crackings might get me back on the right path.

Despite my back pain, I am still making my way through my bracket. As a result of my stiffness, I do have to modify some of the movements, but fortunately, I know enough that I can easily do that without giving up my workout. Yay sweat! I am quite behind in my posting (I think, as of right now, I have three match-ups to post), and in the coming days, I’ll try to catch up.

That’s all for now. Talk to you soon!

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Match-Up #5 – Wolf-Shirt Creeper vs. Russian Tennis Players

Wow. I thought that Cardio Burlesque was the worst workout ever. No. Not even close.

I try to not make fun of people. I really do.

But when I started this first video, Budokon: Beginning Practice, all such pretenses went flying out the window.

I can truthfully say I have never hated a video as much as I hated this one.

I hated the host. Hate is a strong word, but super-hate just looks weird, so we’ll stick with just hate. He talked in a weird, breezy, “I’m white but I want to be Asian” voice.

Did you know that I took taekwondo for four years and that I’m actually a senior 1st degree black belt? Seriously. I’ll post a photo of my belts someday. I’ll admit I don’t train now (as evidenced by my greatly decreased flexibility and lack of sparring skills at the moment), but I trained, very regularly, for a while. In taekwondo, and I feel stupid for even saying this, you don’t HISS when you throw a punch.

What’s that? You’ve never heard of such a stupid thing?

Well, that’s because most martial artists don’t hiss. This guy hisses. He did this weird “sss” sound with every punch. And it was loud. And obnoxious.

Why don’t martial artists hiss? Because if you hiss every time you through a punch, you telegraph said punches, and you will get your butt handed to you.

Between the McDojo hissing and weird creeper voice, the only thing this video was missing was the three-headed wolf shirt.

Oh, and it wasn’t even a good workout. This is my lowest calorie burner so far. I would rather be condemned to only doing the Marky Mark Workout and Cardio Burlesque for the rest of my life than having to do this video again.

So, the other workout in this match-up was Biggest Loser Calorie Knockout. This video was produced sometime during season 12, as it stars Russian tennis sensation Anna Kournikova.

Heck, I burned more calories putting this DVD in than I did during the Creepy Wal-Mart Taekwondo Workout.

This video consisted of kickboxing (Anna), cardio (Bob), and strength training (Dolvett). It also…

Geeze, you know it won. By a landslide. Is there any point in going on?

Yeah, Budokon lost. I think my DVD player caught herpes just by having this DVD in it. Worst workout ever.

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The Video Substitution

There has been a video substitution. One player has been forcefully ejected from the game; another player is taking his place.

I didn’t want to do this, but I knew early on that it might be a possibility. Several of my videos (some of which are still weeks away in the bracket) are available only on Netflix Watch Instantly. I know that their library changes regularly, so a workout that I have planned for game 27, for instance, may not be available by the time that roles around.

However, today’s change is occurring for a different reason.

I am ejecting a video workout for being dangerous.

Billy’s Ultimate Bootcamp, hosted by Billy Blanks of Tae Bo fame, is kicked out. If he had any other videos in the bracket (he does not), they would probably be ejected as well.

The video will be replaced, at Tina’s suggestion, by Yoga Booty Ballet.

So, why the change?

In the late 90s, along with every other fat person on the planet, I tried Tae Bo. This was before I had gotten into martial arts, before I knew much about exercise, and even really before I knew much about anatomy and physiology. I tried one of his workouts and I injured myself on the very first day. I injured myself so badly I had to go into physical therapy for a few weeks. Seriously.

My complaints with Billy Blanks’ videos?

They do not feature an appropriate warm-up. This in and of itself is not necessarily bad. Research shows that static stretching before a workout can actually be harmful. (Dynamic stretching is a different beast altogether and IS recommended pre-workout.)

The exception to the no-warm-up rule? Explosive moves. Explosive moves, when used in a workout, should be prefaced with dynamic (moving) stretches. A little marching or jogging in place. Some gentle punches. Slower movement versions of the explosive moves about to come.

So, what does Billy Blank’s workout (both the old Tae Bo and this BootCamp video) consist of? A few minutes of STATIC stretching, followed immediately by explosive moves.

That is an injury waiting to happen.

Fortunately, I know better. I had a trainer that taught me better. In pursuit of my ACE personal trainer certification (coming later this summer), I’ve educated myself. I’ve taken anatomy and physiology classes. And perhaps most importantly, I know my body.

If I were a teenager and not overweight, I probably wouldn’t worry about it as much. But I’m not. I’m a morbidly obese 33 year old. My body can do some amazing things, and there are even days where I consider myself an athlete. But at the same time – I know what I can and should do, and I know what I cannot and should not do.

For what it’s worth – this video falls into the should not video. I have the physical ability to do the explosive moves he was doing. I’m just not going to sacrifice my health for a workout. Ever.

So, Billy Blanks is removed from the bracket. His workout videos are no longer allowed here. I want to get healthy and fit and become an athlete, not show how tough I am.

Have you ever stopped doing a workout because you knew/suspect it would lead to injury?

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12-31-13 - 412.0
1-3-14 - 407.0 (-5.0 pounds total)