I have been fat for a LONG time. Pretty much since the age of three or four. I can’t say I know what it is like to be thin. But more on that in a minute.

In 2004, I reached my all-time biggest. I weighed 402.8 pounds. I know this number so specifically because I went to Weight Watchers on February 9, 2004, for the first time ever. This is what I looked like at the time.

I followed Weight Watchers pretty religiously for about fifteen minutes, and I actually got my weight down to around 260. This is what I looked like then. For the record, this is also the thinnest I have ever been.

Shortly after this picture was taken, I fell off the wagon. Hard. By winter of 2009, I had gained my way back up to around 300 pounds. I got a personal trainer and got back on program.

But then, something weird happened. I was gaining weight, I wasn’t really changing size, I was getting more muscular even, but the fat wouldn’t leave. We were perplexed; I tried cleaning up my diet. I tried Atkin’s. I tried the Zone. I tried Weight Watchers again. I tried eating more and I tried eating less. The fat wouldn’t budge.

Something was clearly out of whack, but I wouldn’t go to the doctor. I just felt like I needed to “try harder.” In late summer of 2010, I finally went to the doctor, and I learned two very important things. One, my stress was through the roof. And two, my thyroid was completely out of whack.

Cut to today, and the stress is virtually gone. I’m also doing various treatments for my thyroid at the moment (read: medicine that I never wanted to take but finally decided to just bite the bullet and do it if it will help me lose weight), and the weight is slowly starting to come off.

I’m going to make it to goal weight this time. And I’m going to stay there.

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