Andros: ZHANE!! I'll teach you to slip my sister the tongue, let alone your private phone number!!
Cassie looks up from her T.V. program to see Zhane running down the hall with Andros right behind him, Spiral Saber raised and ready to kill.
Karone: Oh, Andros! Leave him alone! I can kiss your friend if I feel like it!
Cassie decides to get up and make sure that Andros doesn't get too drastic. Reaching the doorway, she sees Karone heading towards her.
Cassie: What's going on? I heard Andros yelling something about killing Zhane. *thinks to herself: I've seen Karone and Zhane give each other "flutter the eyelashes" looks but nothing too serious. I have a feeling this is going to get beyond serious.*
Karone: Nothing much, Zhane and I were kissing and Andros saw us and had a spaz-out fit. *watching Andros punch Zhane and give him a black eye.*
Cassie: *Jogs over and helps Karone pull the two Rangers apart.* Geez. All he did was kiss her, Andros. Good grief!
Andros: Well he shouldn't have! *Glaring at Zhane, he adds* Twit! Do it again and I'll toss you out an airlock.
TJ, Ashley, and Carlos show up
TJ : What happened? DECA told us there was a fight. We would have been here sooner, but we couldn't decide which to bring, popcorn or candy. We decided to skip it.
Andros: I caught Zhane smooching my Karone! The wuss ran from me. Good thing too, considering I woulda smacked him into next Tuesday if he hadn't.
Karone: *pouting* Andros! Why can't I have a love life? You have one! It's not like I come in with a sledgehammer every time you're busy boinking Ashley!
Ashley: Hey! Shut up!
Andros: Mine is one thing, Karone. Yours is another. You can have one I won't interrupt when you're older.
Karone: Damnit, Andros! I'm seventeen! I can take care of myself!
Andros: Yeah? Well you act like you're two!
Carlos: I think you guys need counseling.
At that moment, the channel Cassie was watching goes to a commercial-ad for Jerry Springer.
TV: Is there someone interfering in your lovelife and you want them to leave you and your lover alone? Please call 1-800-96-JERRY and tell us about it.
DECA: Why not go on a talk show? It's not like you'll solve your problems, but you can beat each other up.
Ashley: Yeah!..but the only talk show I know where you can beat each other up is the Jerry Springer show.
Zhane: Who cares! As long as I get to hurt Andros. Or something close.
TJ : I'll make the call. *grins, apparently looking forward to this.*
Operator: Hello? This is the Jerry Springer Hotline. How may I help you?
TJ : Hi. This is the Blue Ranger. My friends are having kind of a problem and they need to work it out somehow, preferably on national television. Is there some way we could get on the show?
Operator: Please hold for a second. *puts TJ on hold and announces* I think we have a whopper!
Producer: Who is it?
Operator: One of the Power Rangers. Says his friends are having troubles and they'd like to be on the show.
Producer: What the hell are you waiting for then! Pen them in. We can do an entire show on this!
Operator: *nods and takes TJ off hold* Are you still there?
TJ : Yep.
Operator: Our producer wants to speak with you.
TJ : That's cool
The operator hands the producer the phone
Producer: How does one entire show based on you sound? You know Power Ranger wannabes and everything like that?
TJ: Sounds great! We're all looking forward to it.
Producer: Good. We should be ready to go in a perhaps a week.
TJ: Okay. I'll give you my number and call us when you're ready. It's 483-9552, intergalactic area code 335.
Producer: Alrighty. Thanks for calling! Bubye.
TJ: Bye. *hangs up*
The producer, having written down the phone number, hangs up, hands a lowly coworker a list, and says,
Producer: Hurry! Get out ads for these topics!
Cassie: Did they pencil us in? *she and the other Rangers are waiting in TJ's quarters for him to get off the phone. Naturally, Zhane and Andros were sitting at a very far away distance from each other*
TJ: No, they penned us in. They're gonna do an entire show on us! Cool, huh? They didn't just want you two to confront each other, they're bringing on Power Ranger wannabes. People who want to be like us. * grins at the sight of dropping jaws.*
Ashley: Wow. They mean all of us? Not just Andros, Karone, and Zhane? Ashley asked.
TJ: Yep.
Carlos: Cool!
Cassie: Awesome!
Ashley: Alright!
* TJ's phone rings.* Hello?
Producer: Hi, this is the producer of the Jerry Springer Show! How soon can you guys be on the show?
TJ: How soon do you want?
Producer: The soonest we can get a show is this afternoon. In ten minutes. Sound okay?
TJ: Ohh yeah!! See ya then! TJ hung up and grinned.
Andros: *impatiently* When do they want us?
TJ : * grinning* Ohhh, how about in ten minutes!
Carlos: Well, what are we waiting for? Let's teleport down there!
All: Right!
Rangers and Karone teleport to Chicago
The Ranger are being introduced to Jerry and led backstage
Producer: Can you do some fancy appearing act with cheap smoke or anything?
Andros: Nah. But we can teleport.
Producer: Okay use that. When we introduce you, go ahead and transform--
Carlos: Teleport.
Producer: Whatever. Do that thing and land onstage, preferably sitting on your seats.
Andros: Fine with me, as long as I don't have to sit next to the Silver Spaz.
Zhane: Oh, shut your trap, twit.
Jerry Springer: Save it for the show. *smiling at Karone* I can see why those two are fighting over your affection.
Karone: Actually, Andros' my brother. He just doesn't want me going with him, *Karone jerks her thumb in Zhane's direction.*
Jerry: Ahh, sorry.
Karone: No problem.
Jerry: Okay, here we go. *Jerry walks on stage as the audience does their normal extremely loud cheering of "JERRY!! JERRY!!"*
Jerry: Today, on our show, we have seven very special guests here to confront their impersonators and each other. Please welcome the Karone and the Power Rangers!
Seven bright streaks of light come from backstage, land in the stage chairs, and became the Power Rangers. And Karone. Zhane and Andros have Karone between them and both mutter about how they're going kill each other.
Jerry: How are you all today?
Cassie: Ah. Fine. *glancing at Andros and Zhane* Most of us, anyway. You know how it is. Go kill a monster, and go back to our ship to do our homework, mainly.
Jerry: Ah. I see two of you are having problems with one lady. Andros, Karone's your sister, right?
Andros: *nodding* Yes.
Jerry: But she seems to be having a relationship with Zhane, the Silver Ranger, something you don't like. Am I correct?
Andros: Yes. Put yourself in my place. You just got your sister back from being kidnapped when you were little. You're walking along the ship's hall, you round a corner, and see your what else but you're sister in a liplock with your then best friend.
Audience: OOOoooohhh!!!
Karone: All I want to know is this. *staring her brother right in the face* I know I've asked you before but, how come I can't have a lovelife? One you won't interrupt? Like I said earlier today, it's not like I come in with a sledgehammer or chainsaw or something when you're busy *$@^*%#! Yellow over there.
Audience: OOOOOOOHHHhhh!
Ashley: That's it! Stay outta my lovelife, Karone!
Ashley jumps out of her seat and starts at Karone. A small catfight ensues. The two ladies are pulled apart by Steve the Security Guy and not surprisingly enough, both come out of the skirmish with a few locks less of hair
Andros: Here's something I want to know. Why my--now ex--best friend?
Karone straightens her hair
Karone: It wouldn't matter if it was the Blue Ranger, or the Silver Ranger someone in the audience. You'd still interrupt!
Andros: True. Very true. *Shrugs, knowing he's being a jackass*
Jerry: Zhane, what do you have to say about this?
Zhane: It's not like he can stop us. Heh, heh, heh. *Leaning out of his chair and staring at Andros* I'll let you in on a little something, Andy. *wiggles eyebrows* Kissing is NOTHING compared to what we've done!
Andros rockets out of seat, grabs his chair and proceeds in attempt to smash Zhane's head in. Karone is knocked out of the way.
Steve and the rest Security crew come up and restrain the two.
Andros belts Steve in the stomach and sends him into the audience.
Steve: Ahh--Oooof!
The other Rangers jump out of their chairs and help pull Andros off Zhane. Karone flattens out against the wall, pulls a dictionary out of the bookcase, and hits her brother over the head; stunning him enough that the other Rangers manage to get him to sit down.
The audience cheers like mad and begin that stomping thing people tend to do when excited.
Andros: *screaming* Damn #*%@&!! I'm gonna kill your sorry Silver @#$!!
Zhane: *shakes his head* Pulleze. Who's sister was it who bludgeoned you in the head? Yours! Oh, and who's girlfriend is now sitting in my lap? Mine!! *Zhane speaks with a cocky tone as Karone sits in his lap.*
Andros: Karone! Ooohh! I have a headache. *Andros grumbles as Ashley puts her arms around him in attempt to keep him in his seat...or for other reasons...*
Rita *on the Moon*: Finally! ONE of them shares my pain!
Zedd: Turn that crap o--say, are those the Power Rangers?
Rita: Yes.
Zedd: In that case, let me get the popcorn...
*in the studio* Andros: *shakes his head* Just you wait. When we get home...
Jerry: Allright, let's take a break and we'll be right back!
Show goes to commercial break. During the break, Zhane gives Karone a bouquet of flowers, which like all flowers which come on the stage of Jerry Springer, met an untimely death by beating from Andros.
Karone: Why must you be such a ^#^*ƒ&*^$¶, Andros?
Andros: *Mutters something unintelligible*
Jerry: And we're back!! Today, we have the Power Rangers with us. Andros, the Red Ranger, is angry with his sister, Karone, and his friend--
Andros: EX.
Jerry: Pardon me, his ex-best friend, Zhane, for being together.
Audience: OOOOOOOOOOHH!!
Jerry: Isn't love tragic?
Audience: *laughs*
Jerry: You know, we have some other guests that are saying you're all rather mean people.
Andros: Bring those bitches out here and we'll just see about that.
The others nod in agreement.
Audience: *laughs*
Jerry: Heheheh....well, let's please welcome....the Psycho Rangers!!!!
Psycho Rangers come out, ready for a fight. The Rangers charge and get into a huge fight.
Psycho Red: You see what we mean?
Andros: Oh, shut your cake-hole!! *gets pulled off by Steve*
Psycho Red: Make me!! Nyah nyah!! Thhhhhppptt--eww!! I just got spit all inside my helmet!!!
TJ: Serves ya right, *&^#&*!!!
Andros: Don't make me come over there, Red!!
Psycho Red: *stands up* Bring it on, Skunk-boy!!
Andros: *sits calmly, but uses Telekinesis to drop a ceiling panel on Psycho Red*
CRAAASHH!!!!
Psycho Red: No fair!! He's using telekinesis!!
Jerry: Uhhhhh...I think we'll be right back, after this.
Show goes to another commercial break. During it, the Rangers are forced to morph and deal with the Psychos.
After the Psychos are detained, the Rangers demorph and have their microphones fixed in place (they fell off when the Rangers morphed).
Ashley: Now where were we? Relationships?
Jerry: Actually, at this point? I'm not sure.
Audience: *laughs*
Ashley: There's one Ranger here with relationship problems, it's Cassie.
Cassie: *growls* Don't go there...
Ashley: It's true, Cass. At least I can get it three times a week (from anyone I want, may I add), while you're waiting on Phantom Ranger.
Cassie: Shut. Up. Now. Do NOT make me come over there...
Ashley: *obviously enjoying the fact she's annoying the heck outta Cassie* The real reason he's probably never revealed his identity is that he's an ugly slime-bag behind that helmet!
Cassie: OKAY!! THAT'S IT!! *lunges across stage and knocks Ashley off the stage*
A huge catfight has insued. Steve, Andros, Carlos, TJ, Zhane and Karone are all struggling to separate the two. After a ton of hair has been ripped out by the roots, the two are removed from the kitty-like combat.
After Cassie and Ashley's fight, Carlos and Andros have a sudden argument and fight. No one can tell what it's about, because the microphones were knocked off when the Rangers tried to separate the two girls.
Jerry: And that was about....what??
Andros: The ^%**%$ thinks he was better with Ashley than I am.
Carlos: Shut the %#@& up. Anyways, it really don't matter.
Jerry: Why's that?
Carlos: He can have that diseased slut. I've found the love of my life.
Carlos gets up and he and TJ embrace in a passionate kiss.
Andros: I guess that explains all the noise on the Megaship at night.
Audience: *laughs*
Jerry: We could have the wedding here, on the show.
Carlos and TJ: Sure thing, Jerry!! *hold hands*
Jerry: Stay tuned for the next segment of this program... The Ranger's Wedding. Coming up next after this.
Audience: *cheers EXTREMELY LOUD* JERRY!! JERRY!! JERRY!! JERRY!!
Show cuts to a commercial break, during which Ashley gets up and tries to slap Carlos.
Jerry: And we're back. Today, we have the Power Rangers with us, to settle some...rather rowdy disputes. They haven't had much luck, but for right now, we're going to have a wedding.
Audience: *cheers wildly when the cake and punch is brought out*
Carlos and TJ come out from either side of the stage dressed in tuxedos. The other Space Rangers and the Psycho Rangers all sit on the side lines (Space Rangers dressed to the occasion in tuxes and dresses.) The reverend assigned for the wedding stands before them.
Reverend: We are gathered here today to join two lovers in holy matrimony.
Psycho Red: You Rangers are sick. At least we Psychos have enough dignity to stick to male and female.
Psycho Blue: *reaches behind the chairs to pinch Psycho Red's rear....*
Psycho Red: DON'T you EVEN ... *shoves Psycho Blue out of his chair.*
Andros: To each his own... *shrugs and then makes a face at Psycho Red* You and Psycho Blue gonna have fun tonight? Hahhahahhah-- *gets smacked by Ashley*
Reverend: Do you, TJ, take Carlos to be your wedded partner in life?
TJ: I do. *takes Carlos' hand*
Reverend: And do you, Carlos, take TJ to be your wedded partner in life?
Carlos: I do. *just barely is missed by some cake thrown by Psycho Pink*
Psycho Pink: Hahahahaha!! Heads up, Ranger!
Reverend: I now pronounce you partners in life--*ducks as a cup of punch is thrown by Carlos and hits Psycho Pink*--You may kiss.
TJ and Carlos kiss as Psycho Pink rants about the punch that landed in her lap.
Psycho Pink: AAAUUGGHH!! That's it!! *charges Carlos and TJ, but doesn't get far, thank you to Steve, Andros, Cassie, Ashley, Zhane, and Karone*
TJ: Want some cake? *throws some cake back at Psycho Pink, who ducks. It hits Psycho Black instead.*
Psycho Black: HEY!! *grabs some cake and hurls it, but only ends up hitting Steve.*
Steve: AAH!
A food fight starts on the stage, and even some of the audience gets into it.
Jerry: Uhhh.... *dodges a piece of cake* We'll be right back with questions from the audience and the Final Thought, after this! *gets splashed with a cup of punch that went whizzing by*
Show cuts to a commercial break.
Jerry: Okay, questions from the audience. *walks over to one teenage guy*
Audience Guy #1: This one's for Andros...what's with your hair? Did you just forget to finish dying it or what?
Audience: *laughs*
Andros: *sighs* It's naturally this way. It isn't my fault my hair is like this.
Audience Guy #2: What do you mean, it's naturally like that? I mean, you were dropping stuff on Psycho-boy over there with your mind. Are you an alien or something?
Andros: I'm a human from the planet KO-35. I'm telekinetic and my hair is this way because that's the way it is. *smiles*
Audience: *laughs*
Audience Girl #1: This one's for Karone. What's going to happen between Andros and Zhane?
Karone: I really have no clue. They've had fights before...I just hope they can work it out.
Andros: Actually....I think I'll be okay with it...maybe.
Audience: *Cheers*
Andros: *smiles at Zhane*
Jerry: And we'll be back with the Final Thought after this!!
Audience: *cheers wildy* JERRY!! JERRY!! JERRY!! JERRY!! JERRY!! JERRY!!
Show cuts to another commercial break.
Jerry: First off, I'd like to thank all the Rangers who came onto the show today; Power and Psycho. Some people would jump at the chance to become Power Rangers and save the world. But they don't concider the fact that they'll be working with others. Being a superhero downs your chances at a love and a social life. Although you may fall in love and meet the the woman--
Carlos and TJ: *AHEM*
Jerry: --Or man of your dreams. But you may also meet your worst enemy. But, perhaps, with a bit of talking you can straighten things out. *shrugs* So put this all into concideration before accepting such an awesome responsibilty. Until next time. Take care of yourself, and each other.
Audience: JERRY!! JERRY!! JERRY!! JERRY!! JERRY!! JERRY!! JERRY!!
Those Little Messages After The Show From Audience Members:
Bulk, Skull, and Professor Phenomenous: WE CAME ALL THE WAY FROM ANGEL GROVE TO SEE YOU, JERRY!! YOU TOO, RANGERS!!
Adelle: Hi Jerry! Love your show!! *waves*
Psycho Blue: *walks by camera* Hi Mom!
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