Disclaimer: They're mine, aaaallll mine, and for every person who
reads this, I get $10 every time they open the file. Hard copies are $25. You
believe me, don't you? Yes? Great in that case, I have a nice stretch of
swamp land in Arizona I might want to sell you.J Seriously, though Saban:
everything, me: zilch. L
Note: This came into existence because I needed part of it
as a background story for another fic I'm working on. The idea developed a life
of its own (Thank you VERY much, Ted! I needed a new story idea about as much
as a root canal! One more stunt like this, and you can look for a new author to
harass! *glares* Sorry, folks; Muse trouble.) and it was just too good to
discard, so here I am, pecking busily away at my keyboard. The story is PG-13
at most, and I hope you like ...comments are welcome, as usual. DB 2000/01
Tommy to Kimberly
"...I miss you so much,
Beautiful, especially now. We had this project at school last week, for Social
Studies we had to pretend how our lives would be like ten years in the
future. Some of the others did stuff about health problems, some on working, or
finding a job .... I wanted to do a report on how to operate a small business;
that dojo Jase and I want to open together one day, remember? But no go somebody else nabbed the idea first. Would
you believe I ended up doing a study on family life? Pretending to be married,
holding down a 9-to-5 job, sharing household chores ... I had Kat as my
partner; she even brought that kid along whom she babysits on occasion, just to
make things more realistic. The gang had a ball teasing us about it, especially
Rocky and Tanya. I couldve killed them! And of course, King M. got in on it,
and we nearly had a disaster on our hands. But, all went well.
Man, I was tired when those 24 hours were
over! Joey that's the kid's name was kinda cute, but you sure don't get a
lot of sleep with a 14-month-old baby! Mom and Dad nearly bust a gut, watching
me and Kat running all over the house, cooking, doing yard work and what have
you. They moved into the attic guest room for the day, so we had a real house
to 'play' with. Mom said she hasn't had so much fun in years, watching us. I
guess it was sort of a payback for all the times she had to look after me; I
was Joey's age when they adopted me.
You know
.... I was beat when the project was over, but now, when I've had time to rest,
I have to admit it was kinda fun, too. Kat was real easy to work with, and
bringing the baby sure added realism. We both got an A, by the way. (AND got
stuck babysitting the teacher's twins the next weekend! UGH!) But .... you
know, when I was sitting down to dinner with her, or when I made like going to
work, discussing 'family' stuff with her .... I so wished it was you I
was doing this with! Not just this project, but for real.
Kim, I know
we never really talked about this, but .... could you imagine having a family
one day? With me? Not too large; I mean, the DeSantos' are a fun bunch, but I'd
rather have a little more peace and quiet at home. But two, or maybe three
kids? You don't have to give me an answer now, but .... could you maybe think
about it? And I could ask you again in a few years, when your gymnastics are
over, and I can support a family? Please, Beautiful .... ever since my folks
told me I was adopted, I've known that I want my own family one day people
who belong to me by blood. I know Mom and Dad chose me as their son and love me lots, and I love them, too,
but somehow it's not the same. I want people in my life who really
belong to me, who love me because .... well, just because. And I'll love them
right back, because they're the family that I chose to have my wife
and my children. And I can't think of anyone else with whom I'd rather have that
family than you. I'd want a little girl who smiles just like you, and maybe a
little boy I could teach Karate to .... Those are my dreams for ten
years in the future; being married to you, and having kids with you as their
mom. If you think you could share those dreams, we'll talk about that when the
time is right. Okay?
I've heard
from Jason the other day; seems he is getting fed up with ...."
In her dorm room in Florida, Kimberly folded Tommy's letter back into the envelope, sighing happily. The
rest was news about Angel Grove and their friends which she loved to hear,
naturally, but she'd pored over this particular bit so often in the two days
since she received the letter, she practically knew it by heart by now.
Tommy
wanted to have a family one day with her! Her heart soared at the thought,
and she knew a silly grin was playing around her mouth every time she read that
sentence. He'd said he wasn't going to ask, not now, but any way she looked at
it, it was almost a proposal ... wasn't it?
"Yes, Tommy," she murmured dreamily to herself, "I'd love to have a family with you one day
when we're both ready."
It
was exactly the answer she was going to give her tall boyfriend when he asked
her in person.
Kim
put the envelope into her nightstand drawer; she wanted to find exactly the
right words to say writing "YES! YES!! YES!!!" in big, bold letters
just wasn't going to cut it; this was way too important and besides,
training had been very exhausting lately. Better to take some time and get her
answer right, just as maturely and well-formulated as Tommy's letter had been.
It was mid-February now, just past Valentine's Day; Tommy's letter had
accompanied a fold-up photo album with portraits of the Zeo team, a group shot
made at the Youth Center and a wallet-sized new picture of Tommy with a very
loving message on the back. It had immediately found its way into her purse,
and she looked at it often, smiling longingly at the handsome face and soulful
eyes that seemed to gaze directly into her heart. The petite gymnast just knew Tommy had been thinking of her when
the picture had been taken; only for her did he ever wear that particular
expression
*God, I miss you, Tommy,* she thought as
she started making preparations for bed. *I
thought I knew what I was letting myself into when I accepted Coach Schmidt's
invitation; I imagined I was prepared to be a little homesick. I did not know how hard it'd be in reality!*
But, she had a visit to Angel Grove
scheduled for Easter, to coincide with spring break; she hadn't told anybody
yet, wanting it to be a surprise for her tall boyfriend. Grinning at herself in
the bathroom mirror as she brushed her teeth, Kim pictured how Tommy's eyes
would light up when he saw her strolling into the Juice Bar, and she'd bet
anything that Ernie and her friends would throw her a Welcome-Home party the
likes of which Angel Grove had never seen.
*It's
gonna be sooo much fun!*
However, before she could finalize her
plans, she would have to go through the Team physicals tomorrow. Kimberly
grimaced as she slid into her bed and turned off the lights. She hated being
poked and prodded by doctors, but knew that it was necessary. All athletes
taking part in the Panglobal Games had to be perfectly healthy to give their
best, and she hadn't given up her home, her friends, her Power Coin ... Tommy ... just to be stopped right
before she realized her life-long dream of competing internationally at the
highest level.
Without false modesty, Kim knew she'd make
the team; she had worked hard to get where she was now, and what she lacked in
competition experience, she more than made up for in talent and determination.
Even if she shouldn't win a medal, the least she could do was give her all to
make her family and friends proud of her. If that meant she had to endure a few
hours of tests and measurements, so be it. Snuggling under her covers, the
erstwhile Pink Ranger closed her eyes and soon drifted off to sleep. Her last
thought, before she went under completely, was that she'd answer Tommy's letter
as soon as she got a clean bill of health.
~*~
"Thank God that's over with!"
The gymnasts meeting at the Training
Center's dining hall were of one mind about the events of the day. The medical
exams had started early, before breakfast even, with the giving of blood
samples ... and almost every other bodily secretion the doctors could lay their
hands on. After a hasty meal, the teenagers and young adults had been measured,
weighed, x-rayed, ultra-sounded and what-have-you until lunch. Then, just when
they thought they were finished, the real
fun began testing of their overall fitness by hooking each person up to
various monitoring devices and letting them exert themselves on treadmills,
stationary bikes, weight machines and so on and so forth, until they were all
heartily sick of the matter.
Kimberly sat down with a couple of the
other gymnasts, only to pick at her dinner. The examinations had been
exhaustive, intrusive, and she always felt worse than usual when she had to
skip a meal. Her early-morning tests had taken so long, it hadn't been worth
eating breakfast so, Kim had gone right into lunch, and was paying the price
now. Besides, she was in the middle of choreographing her floor routine; the interruption
in her round of training sessions, dance class, costume fittings and plain
working out was even more irritating than usual. Deciding finally to make do
with a fruit yoghurt she had in her small fridge, Kim took her leave of her
teammates and went back to her room. The dairy snack was spooned up
half-heartedly, then the petite girl climbed into bed. Rereading Tommy's letter
once more, she felt the loving words soothe and comfort her as always, and
eventually she drifted off to sleep, dreaming of a future at her handsome
boyfriend's side, with two little
boys looking exactly like Tommy playing at her feet, and a little girl with
soulful brown eyes cuddling on her daddy's lap.
~*~
"Kimberly? Phone!"
Peggy's shout broke Kim's concentration, and
she hopped off the balance beam, more than slightly miffed. How the heck was
she supposed to train properly, if she kept being interrupted? Mopping her face
and neck with a towel, she ambled over to the small office and with a
questioning look took the receiver from her teammate, who just shrugged.
"It's Coach."
Watching Peggy go back to the uneven bars,
Kim held the device to her ear.
"Yes?"
Coach Schmidt's heavily accented voice was
brusque, as usual, but not unfriendly.
"Kimberly,
Dr. Benning tells me there are some problems with your test results. They want
you to come in at four this afternoon for another blood sample."
Dr: Benning was the team physician; he'd
been in charge of the physicals.
"What kind of problems?" Kim
asked, not overly concerned. She felt fine, as always.
"He
didn't say. Just make sure you're at the clinic at four; they'll be expecting
you." The line went dead. Slightly mystified, Kim left the office and
informed her choreographer that she had to cancel the afternoon session
again. The older woman was not pleased,
grumbling loudly about how was she supposed to work with the athletes and get
results if they were called away at all times, but dismissed the petite girl
with an encouraging pat on the shoulder.
~*~
Showered and changed, Kim entered the
training compound's medical facility precisely on time. Dr Benning, a man in
his late forties and a former athlete himself, greeted her warmly as she was
ushered into his office.
"Hello, Kimberly. How nice that Coach
Schmidt could let you come right away."
"Hi. What's wrong with me?" Kim
asked curiously, sinking into a chair. "I feel perfectly okay."
"And you most likely are," the
doctor assured her. "It's just ... your blood work shows that there is
some irregularity somewhere in your
body, probably quite minor, and we'd like to find out where and what it is, so
we can treat it before it develops
into a problem."
That made sense, and the former Pink Ranger
relaxed; despite herself, she'd been feeling a bit apprehensive at the prospect
of having a health problem she wasn't aware of.
"Okay. So, what do you need to
do?"
Benning smiled approvingly at the plucky
girl.
"Nothing much draw another blood
sample," he grinned at her grimace, "get a urine sample ... and just
to be on the safe side, I'd like to give you a pelvic exam. The organs in the
lower body, especially a woman's, are very susceptible to outside influences.
It might be that you've picked up a infection somewhere unknowingly that's
making the results go haywire ..."
Kimberly pulled a face; she'd never had a
pelvic exam before, but had heard stories from classmates who had; it didn't
sound like a very pleasant experience. Besides, the thought was pretty
embarrassing, to let someone else look at her there. However, Dr. Benning reassured her.
"Don't worry, Kimberly. I won't look
anywhere I don't have to, and there'll be a nurse with you all the time."
He got up from behind the desk. "Shall we get it over with?" He
winked at her, and she couldn't help but grin back, since she'd thought
precisely that.
"Yes, please."
~*~
"Have a seat, Kimberly."
It was two days later, during which the
gymnasts had been kept extremely busy to make up for lost time, and Kim was
astonished to see Coach Schmidt in Dr. Benning's office as well. Both men
looked grave, and a slight frisson of uneasiness skittered down her spine as
she sank into the offered chair.
"Is ... is there something wrong with
me, after all?" she asked in a puzzled voice. "I thought you said
there wasn't!"
The physician sighed.
"I'd hoped there wasn't; or if so, it
would be nothing more than a yeast infection, or at worst something with your
kidneys. However ..." he stopped, looking down at the files in front of
him. Kim assumed they contained her test results. Benning drew a deep breath,
then met her eyes squarely.
"I'm terribly sorry, Kimberly, but
what we found was far more serious. There's no easy way to say it, so forgive
me if I'm being blunt. We went over all of your test results several times,
hoping we'd be wrong, but unfortunately, we weren't. The pap smear we took ...
there's no possibility of error, I'm sad to say. Kimberly ... you have cervical
cancer."
Kim never noticed that Coach Schmidt got up
and took her suddenly cold hand in his, didn't hear what the older man was
saying to her. She just sat in her chair, looking very small and alone, staring
at Dr. Benning as she felt the blood drain from her face and went numb all over.
~*~
*I
have cancer.*
The thought beat in her mind like a litany
or maybe it was a death bell; by now, Kimberly neither knew nor cared. She'd
been a total wreck ever since she'd left Dr. Benning's office yesterday, trying
to deny what the man had told her, but being unable to. The test results, as
he'd said, were unmistakeable. She had a malignant tumor in the uterus
undetected so far because there had been no reason to suspect anything until
anomalies showed up during the physicals. Fresh tears slid down her cheeks as
she trudged towards the sink to pour herself a glass of water the only thing
she could keep down ever since she'd learned the truth about her condition.
*How
can I have cancer? Until recently, I was a Power Ranger! I'm only seventeen
years old!*
But deep in her heart, she knew that
disease any kind of disease
didn't ask for a birth certificate when it chose to strike, or care about the
victim's identity. Kim sniffled, but her tears continued to flow. Dimly, she wondered
how she could have any tears left at all. It seemed that she'd done nothing but cry, ever since she'd come home from
the clinic.
*I
don't want to die ...*
That was the one silver lining in
this whole mess. Dr. Benning had explained to her that thankfully, they'd
detected the tumor in its earliest stages. If she decided on an operation right
away well, after the PanGlobals;
she was here to train, after all, and major surgery would take about two months
out of her training schedule, and she couldn't afford that, not if she wanted to
compete she had every chance of making a full recovery, without
chemotherapy or radiation, or before metastases could spread into other parts
of her body. Kim swallowed a despairing moan as she sank back on her bed; her
pillow was soaked with the tears she'd shed, but she felt too exhausted to do
anything about it. Turning the soft cushion over, she pressed her face into the
crumpled linen. Something lumpy was lodged at the small of her back; fumbling
for the object, she pulled up the fluffy white bear Tommy had given her when
she'd woken in hospital after her fall off the balance beam, back home in Angel
Grove.
"Tommy," the girl sighed
longingly. Her mother was away in France and couldn't come right now; a frantic
phone call to her the night before had assured Kimberly that Mrs DePuys would
be there for the surgery, however. This was not a time when Kim wanted to be
alone she needed the comfort and security of being with people she loved, and
who loved her.
*I'm
not going to tell the others, though,* the unhappy young woman decided as
she slowly regained a measure of calm. *Not
before the operation, anyway. There's nothing they can do to help me, and it'd
only distract them from their jobs. They have enough trouble with these robot
guys already; I don't need to add to their problems.*
But telling Tommy was another matter. Kim
just knew that her boyfriend would be
there for her, giving her all the support she could possibly need.
*We've
been through so much together loss of our Powers, being attacked by Rita,
Zedd and who-knows-what else, faced danger together ... we came so close to
dying when we searched for Ninjor's Temple, and at other times ... next to my
parents, Tommy's the ONE person who I know will never leave me. We love each
other too much for ANYTHING to drive us apart.*
That thought, for the first time since
she'd heard the devastating news, stopped Kimberly's tears and brought a wobbly
smile to her face. Still sniffling, she sat up on her bed and took the picture
of Tommy that rested on her nightstand in her hand. Tracing his strong, smiling
features with a slender fingertip, Kim cleared her throat.
"I love you so much, Tommy and I
wish I could tell you how much it means to me to know I can call you and tell
you everything ... just like you tell me everything
that's on your mind and in your heart," she whispered hoarsely. Kim wiped
her wet cheeks with the back of her hand, but it was ineffectual. Opening her
drawer, she fumbled for a pack of tissues. After blowing her nose and drying
her eyes, she took out Tommy's last letter once more. Kim settled back against
her pillows and began to read; his loving words would surely bring her comfort,
especially now when she needed it most.
As she re-read every affectionate sentence,
Kim made a mental note not only to call Tommy at the earliest opportunity, but
also to reply to his letter in the morning. She smiled at some of the things he
told her; mostly Ranger stuff couched in very general terms, and she vowed to
get an in-depth account as soon as possible. The first page was turned, and her
heart began to beat a little faster; she was getting to her favorite part of
the letter, the one that always made her go all warm and fuzzy inside.
*" ... ever since my folks told me I was adopted,
I've known that I want my own family one day people who belong to me by
blood.(...) And I can't think of anyone else with whom I'd rather have that
family than you. (...) Those are my dreams for ten years in the future;
being married to you, and having kids with you as their mom...."*
"Oh God," Kim whispered, turning
deathly pale as her hands suddenly lost the power to hold on to the
closely-written sheets. They fluttered unheeded onto her blanket. "Tommy,
no ...!"
The reality of her situation suddenly
crashed over her head, threatening to drown her. Fresh tears started to flow
unheeded as Kimberly had to face a devastating truth.
She had early-stages cervical cancer. In
order to prevent the disease from spreading, she'd have to have an operation
a hysterectomy. The surgery would remove her womb, saving her life, but forever
barring her from having children of her own EVER. Children whom Tommy wanted
to have with her. And once the deed was done, she wouldn't be able to give them
to him, thereby smashing his fondest dreams for his their future.
As the painful truth began to sink into her
consciousness, Kim started to sob, deep, heart-wrenching sounds which no-one
was around to hear while her own world, so perfect only days ago, shattered
into fragments too small and numerous to count.
~*~
Days passed during which Kim moved like a
zombie. She talked to Dr. Benning again, remembering vague tales about women in
her condition being miraculously cured by having a baby, but he only shook his
head, telling her truthfully that these cases were bordering on the fantastic
if they were true at all. The physician was sorry to see what little life was
left drain from her dulled brown eyes, but in good conscience he couldn't hold
out false hopes to the devastated girl.
"Kimberly ... I have to tell you that
the likelihood is far greater that a pregnancy now will speed along the cancer
rather than make it go away," he said gently. "Besides, you're not
yet eighteen years old; how will you and your boyfriend even support a child
especially if you should get sicker? And ..." he put a hand on her arm and
waited until she would look at him, "If worse comes to worst, would you
want your Tommy being left behind with a baby to raise alone?"
"You mean when I die," she
rasped, beyond tears by now.
"Not when, if," Benning corrected
her firmly. "And we'll do everything we can to prevent that from
happening. But, yes."
"I ... no. No, I couldn't do that to
him," she whispered.
"Talk to your boyfriend, Kimberly. If
he really loves you, he'll understand. You have much to offer a man; far more
than your ability to bear children. And if he doesn't, maybe he's not the right
man for you, after all." Privately, the doctor had his doubts about that
anyway; in his experience, High School romances seldom lasted, but he couldn't
tell that to the young woman sitting
so forlornly in his office. She had enough to bear right now.
Numbly, Kim walked back to her room.
Benning meant well, but he didn't know couldn't
know about the deep bonds she and
Tommy shared. Their love went far beyond a teenage romance. But, what was she
going to do? Sighing, she lay on her bed, forcing her tired mind to think through
her options as the Florida sun sank below the horizon and the early February
dusk began to cast her room into gloom.
*I
can refuse to have the hysterectomy. But chances are very high that the cancer
will continue to grow, making me ever sicker, and I'll die. Sooner rather than
later.*
The former Pink Ranger was not afraid of
death as such; she'd had to come to terms with her own mortality soon after she
first accepted her Power Coin. But it was one thing to die defending your
planet, or maybe in an accident, when things were out of her control. It was
quite another to succumb to a disease ... for which she was not responsible,
true, but since there was a cure available, it'd be like giving in without a
fight. And Kimberly Hart had never given
up on anything without doing her utmost to beat the odds.
*I
... I don't want to die,* the young woman realized painfully. *At least, not like this. And ... and not
now. I'm not done living. Not yet.*
For some unknown reason, she felt almost
ashamed to admit that, but it also cleared her mind for other things.
*So
I'm going to have the operation. Mom will come here; I won't be alone. But I
won't tell the others. Not Trini, not Aisha none of them. And the guys
forget it. I don't want their pity, or that they'll think I'm only half a
woman,* she resolved.
*But
... but what about Tommy?*
Kimberly moaned into the darkness
surrounding her and curled up into a ball of pure misery. No matter what, she
was going to hurt her charismatic boyfriend deeply. Her decision to have the
operation by necessity destroyed all of Tommy's hopes and aspirations of ever
having a family of his own never mind the fact that he would suffer right
along with her. And hurting Tommy was the very last thing she wanted to do
ever.
*Do I
have to tell him?*
The unhappy girl dismissed the question as
soon as it popped into her mind; while it was terribly tempting, she knew that
it wouldn't only be an unforgivable lie by omission, it would also be
completely unfair and dishonest.
"If I tell him, he'll leave me
..." she hiccuped, but Kim knew deep down that Tommy wouldn't do that; not
for something as serious as this, something she had no control over and what
wasn't her fault. Tommy would stand by her through thick and thin ... because
that was the way he was, because his sense of honor wouldn't let him desert
her, and most of all because he loved her. But, if he stayed with her, he'd
have to give up his own dreams ... and that was not what Kim wanted. She loved
him too much to do that to him.
The dilemma seemed insoluble; no matter
what she decided to do, Tommy would be the one to suffer from her decision. For
herself, Kimberly certainly regretted that she'd never have children, but it
was something she hadn't yet given serious thought to. She was only seventeen, after all; even though she'd dreamed of having
a family one day, it was all part of a still very nebulous future. Probably her
loss would hit her more deeply at one point, Kim knew, but that was the least
of her problems. Right now, she was far more concerned with how Tommy would
take the news.
*He'll
be soo sad ... and disappointed ... and unhappy ...*
But they'd have each other to help them,
the optimistic part of her reminded her. As long as they had each other, they
could live through anything. Couldn't they?
Kim wanted to say 'yes' with conviction,
but a niggling voice at the back of her mind wouldn't be silenced.
*What
if he stops loving you when he has to give up so much? Not right away, no, but
what about five years from now? Ten? When you're both ready to have a family,
and you CAN'T? Will he still love you then-?*
"Of course he will; Tommy loves
me," the petite girl murmured, but even to her own ears it sounded weak.
What if he wouldn't? What if he came to resent her one day for being
barren?
God, the word hurt! Tommy was a wonderful person, the best, but he also was only Human. And to see their love
wither away would be worse than anything.
"I'll die if he leaves me," she
whispered, tears gathering anew in her burning eyes. "It'll kill me as
surely as the cancer will if I don't do anything about it ..."
*You
can't do anything about the cancer,* the insidious voice in her mind
stated. *But you CAN do something to
prevent him from leaving you.*
"What?" Kim asked the
empty room. "I'd do anything to avoid that."
*Anything?*
"Yes," she answered
herself, sobbing again. "It would hurt too much if he did!"
For an endless minute, the voice remained
silent. Then, it spoke up again.
*Then
YOU leave HIM.*
"WHAT?!?"
*Break
up with Tommy. Tell him you don't love him like that. Pretend that you don't want to have children with him.
That way, you won't have to tell him the truth; you'll be spared his pity, and
while it'll hurt him now, it leaves the way open for him to find someone else,
to make his dreams come true with another woman. Someone who can give him the
family you can't.*
Kimberly moaned again as a wave of
despair washed through her. She hated the thought of breaking up with him
passionately, but what the voice told her made a terrible, twisted kind of
sense. Hurt Tommy a little okay, a lot now, but spare him an even bigger
pain in the future. If she loved him as much as she said she did, surely she
could do this? For Tommy? Leave him so that he could find happiness with
someone else? The thought was physically painful, but once conceived it
wouldn't go away. Instead, images swirled through her exhausted mind,
alternating between impossible dreams of a miracle cure for her, Tommy's pain
and disappointment when he had to give up his
dreams for her sake, the misery and despair he'd surely feel if she did die
despite everything, and a vision of a happy, content man surrounded by children
who looked just like him.
~*~
Throughout the longest night of her life,
Kimberly wrestled with herself, torn between her wants and dreams and with what
she became increasingly convinced she had
to do, but as the first rays of dawn began to lighten the morning sky, she
wearily unfurled herself from her rumpled bed, stood up and looked out her
window. It faced west, towards California ... her home, and the man she loved
more than anything else. Enough, in any case, to place his happiness over her
own needs.
"Good-bye, Tommy," the young
woman whispered, then turned away from the window and sank down at her desk.
Beyond tears now, she methodically took her stationery out of a drawer, readied
an envelope and picked up a pen. Her eyes were dry and her hand was steady as
she started to write a letter that would change two lives forever. As she wove
a plausible tale of lies about finding someone else, to cast the man she loved
out of her life so that he'd be happy, her heart was slowly breaking into a million
pieces.
~~***~~
Jason
to Tommy
"... Bro, I know you're not really ready to face
this, but I thought it better to warn you Kim is coming home for a visit this
summer, right about graduation time. I'll try to keep her away as much as I
can, do stuff with her ... but there may be times when that won't be possible.
You can deny it all you want, Tommy, but I know
you Kim hurt you with the way she broke up with you, and you're not
over it over her yet. And before you ask, no, I don't really know what
happened, either. She hasn't told anyone, as far as I know at least not
anybody I can ask. Trini and Zack are as much in the dark as me.
You're probably not going to like what I'm
going to say next, but I'll tell you anyway: You have Kat now. She's a great
girl, pretty, smart, nice ... a really classy lady. Don't throw away what
you've found with her; she deserves better than that, and if you want some
advice, talk to her. I know that's not easy for you, but as your friend it's
the best thing I can say to you be as open about your feelings for her, for
Kim, about this whole mess as you can. It's the only honorable way. And maybe
it'll help you get your head straight, too. It's only going to be worse if you
don't; what if you run into Kim suddenly and do or say something you're going
to regret? And knowing Kat, she'll want to help you as much as she can she's
one of the most understanding and forgiving people I know. Okay, end of
lecture.
I won't be graduating with the rest of you
guys; I'm still missing a few credits, so my folks enrolled me in a private
school to make up for what I missed in Europe and while I was recovering from
you-know-what. But I'll be back in Angel Grove in time for Prom, and return for
good for the fall semester ..."
There was more to Jason's letter,
but the passage he'd just read for maybe the dozenth time was what stuck with
him most and what caused him the most headache. Tommy slumped down wearily as
he put his best friend's message back into his mail folder; he'd answer it
tonight.
*So
Kim's coming back.*
The thought was terrifying, and at the same
time just a little bit exhilarating. It had been months since he'd received
that letter from Kimberly; he should be over it by now, but every time he
remembered the words, a fresh spurt of pain seemed to squeeze his heart for
just a moment. The memories came less frequently now, didn't bother him as much
anymore once he'd started dating Kat, but Tommy was not at all sure if he
already was up to seeing his former girlfriend again. Her letter had hurt him
too much for that especially since he'd poured out his hopes and dreams to
her in his own messages not too long before. That she could dismiss his
almost-proposal so casually was maybe the worst of all; he'd expected better of
the one-time Pink Ranger.
Once again, Tommy was tempted to pick up
the phone, call Coach Schmidt's compound and demand an answer from his former
girlfriend in person. Better yet, he wished Zordon hadn't placed such stringent
restrictions on the use of the Power Chamber's teleportation system. The first
nights after he'd received Kimberly's letter, he'd had to hide his communicator
in his desk when he was off-duty, else he disregarded every rule and whizzed
down to Florida, to get the truth from Kim in person.
But, he never did. He'd made a promise and
would keep it, even if it killed him inside. And he wasn't at all sure if he wanted
to hear from Kim's own lips that they were through.
So, Tommy got over it. Over Kim. Somewhat.
Somehow. Because he had no choice ... at least not if he wanted to keep his
sanity intact.
Having Billy and Kat's support helped. So
did being kept extremely busy by Mondo and his goons. Jason returning home
unexpectedly from Switzerland had been a Godsend, and not just because he was
available to take on the Gold Power from Trey for a while. His closest friend
had helped Tommy to work through his anguish and confusion much more than any
of the others could have done because he'd been there from the beginning of
his relationship with the petite girl. So had Billy, but while Tommy had become
good friends with the team genius over time, their connection had never been as
close or intense as the one he'd always shared with Jason. Only with the first
Red Ranger could Tommy let go of all the anguish Kim's breakup had caused him.
Only with Jason could Tommy let himself truly mourn for what he'd lost. Only
with his best friend could he let himself cry.
~*~
But Jason had had to leave again, to recover
from nearly losing his life due to the Gold Powers' alien nature. Tommy
shuddered at the thought; he honestly didn't know if he could've handled it if
Jason had suffered permanent damage because of something he, Tommy, had done.
If it hadn't been for his brainstorm, Jason would never have accepted ... no.
Of course he would have he'd have found a way to help. Somehow. Deep down,
Tommy knew that the first leader of Earth's Rangers had been destined to don
the Gold Ranger's uniform, if only briefly. Besides, everything had turned out
well ... Jason lived, and was healthy again. So was Billy, although on an alien
planet half a galaxy away. His loss would've been almost as bad.
The long-haired young man sighed. His
mother's brother had called and invited him to the race track, and if he didn't
get his butt in gear, he'd be late a habit he'd only recently managed to
break and had no intention to fall back into. Gathering his keys, Tommy went
downstairs, left a note for his folks and climbed into his 4 X 4. Concentrating
on the road, he drove away, taking his troubled thoughts along.
*Kim's
coming back. Right. I'll deal with it ... somehow. Because I must.*
~*~
Events conspired against Tommy to ever
reply to Jason's letter, or even heed his friend's sensible advice. He never
got around to telling the rest of the team about the first Pink Ranger's
return, or have a long talk with his Australian girlfriend, so the sight of Kim
in Divatox's clutches came as a shock to all of them.
"Kimberly," he'd breathed,
stunned by the rush of conflicting emotions flooding his system. Joy warred
with hurt, delight with pain, and recognizing his best friend captive right
next to her didn't help much, either. But there was no time to dwell on his
personal problems; much more immediate matters were pressing in on all of them.
Lerigot giving himself up to Divatox, the threat hanging over their planet and
more if Divatox should indeed manage to free the Flame of Destruction ...
losing Rocky (if only temporarily) in the middle of a crisis of this magnitude,
having to take on new Powers yet again
... it was numbing them all.
Silently, Tommy just gave thanks that at
least this time, colors weren't being shifted around.
Adjusting to having a twelve-year-old on the
team was hard on all of them, although he and Adam, the only 'veterans' left by
now, agreed that so far, Justin was turning out to be an unusual but competent replacement for Rocky. Which
didn't help the fact that Tommy was more than commonly distracted during their
trip to the Nemesis Triangle.
Then came the next shock. Seeing Jason and
Kim suspended over the lava pit had been bad, but it hadn't shaken Tommy's
conviction that they, as a team, could save their friends. When the chain broke
and both former Rangers plummeted to what they'd thought was certain death had
been paralyzing ... but not more than seeing them miraculously restored ... and
turned evil.
Tommy had hardly been able to get past his
total devastation. Seeing Kimberly and Jason, the two people who had always stood by him, no matter what,
attacking him and the Rangers was ... he didn't even have words to describe how
that had made him feel. If he'd felt anything at all except utter shock. No
wonder the Red Ranger had nearly lost the fight ... he just couldn't bring himself to hurt his best
friend and the girl he'd loved with all his heart until she'd broken it with
a letter just as spring came around the corner.
*Thank
you, Lerigot,* Tommy sent his silent thanks through space to Liaria, where
the diminutive wizard lived. *If your magic hadn't saved Kim ... and
Jason ... I dunno if I could have gone on.* He had his doubts.
But, even though it had hurt to see Kim
again, captured, evil, more than slightly battered by her experience at the
Space Pirate's hands, Tommy hadn't been so caught up in his own problems that
he couldn't see what his reactions were doing to Katherine.
She hid her hurt well during the Muranthias
crisis, when he'd so obviously been concerned about Kim instead of her, calling
out her name even before Jason's, his inability to come to her, Kat's, aid, but
she'd said nothing, instead doing her job as the Pink Ranger as competently as
ever and not betraying by a single look or remark how it must have pained her
to see her boyfriend so concerned about another woman.
*She
is too nice, has too much class to say anything, or to let Kim see how much she
must resent her reappearance,* the young man thought miserably. *Sometimes I wonder what she sees in me, why
she even bothers. I'm certainly not being fair to her. Kat gives so much ...
and all I can do is moon over Kimberly, comparing Kat to her when I KNOW I
mustn't do that. They ARE different persons, after all.*
Tommy was uncomfortably aware that he
couldn't postpone a long conversation
with Kat much longer. He was reasonably certain that his Australian girlfriend
wouldn't begrudge him to be concerned about their friends, but his reaction to
the first Pink Ranger had been way out of proportion, and he'd better resolve
his feelings, fast.
So, as a result, he was absent-minded and
distracted as he prepared for the Karate tournament alongside Adam and Jason,
all three dressing in matching gis
while the crowd in the packed gym was buzzing excitedly. Tommy was yanked
abruptly out of his thoughts and flinched visibly as a large hand came to rest
on his shoulder.
"You okay, Bro?" Jason asked, his
dark eyes worried and warm with honest concern. A far cry from the malevolent
red glare lighting them so very recently on Muranthias, Tommy couldn't help
remembering.
"Yeah, sure," Tommy mumbled, but
before either young man could say more, their coach called them into the arena.
The match was a fast and furious one; their opponents skilled and very, very good.
But the three friends had not only superb individual skills to call on, they
also knew how to function as a team, shifting attacks seamlessly and with utter
trust that the others would be there at a glance. They won, to the crowd's roar
of delight and the jubilation of their friends and families. When Jason lifted
the giant cheque for all to see, guaranteeing the funds for the Little Angels'
Home for the next three months, happy pandemonium broke loose. Justin was
already clambering up into the ring, and Kat was there at ringside, too, her
crystal blue eyes shining with pride and joy as she reached up to her
boyfriend. Tommy accepted her embrace spontaneously and with a broad smile,
never noticing the petite brown-haired girl standing a little on the outside of
their jubilant group.
Kimberly watched Tommy hug Kat with a sad
smile, determinedly swallowing her tears. While it hurt more than she had known
it would to see him with another woman, it confirmed her conviction that she'd
done the right thing. They made a wonderful couple, and she would have to be
blind to miss the obvious caring and affection the Pink and Red Turbo Rangers
shared. *Did it have to happen so soon, though?* But the timing didn't
matter; she wouldn't let it. Tommy's happiness was all that counted. Sighing
softly to herself, Kim pasted a bright expression to her face and took a step
forward to join her friends. After all, there was a victory party to attend.
*Never mind that I just lost
everything.. Even hope.*
~~***~~
Trini to Jason
"
Jason, I don't know what's
wrong with Kimberly, but something's not right. I've had a chance to meet her
when the PanGlobal Winners' Promo Tour stopped in Geneva last month, and I
thought I'd see her just as
as bubbly and vivacious as ever. After all,
medaling in two disciplines is quite an accomplishment, and you know how
Kim always sparkled when she's done well in a competition. And if winning both
a PanGlobal Bronze and Gold isn't doing well, I don't know what is.
Don't get me
wrong, Kim tried. She clearly wanted me to think that everything is fine, but
it just
isn't. It's all pretend somehow, from her excitement over the medals
to her joy at seeing me. I'm sure nobody else noticed, but Jase, I've been
friends with Kim since second grade; I just know her far too well to
accept things at face value. It's as if something has sucked the joy right out
of her, as if she's just going through the motions of living. Remember how
Tommy was the first time he lost his Powers? How hopeless he looked when he
thought we weren't paying attention? That's what I see in Kim these days.
I so want to
help her, but how can I, when she won't talk to me? Jason, I'm going to Paris
over Christmas and will stay with Kim's family; if you have any idea at
all, please tell me so I can help her; it hurts to see her like this
"
Jason sighed as he read Trini's
letter; while he never got the chance to grill Kim about the break-up with
Tommy during their ill-fated diving excursion and she'd vanished so fast
after the victory party that nobody had had the opportunity to sit her
down for a serious talk he had a pretty good idea what might be the cause for
the change in their friend.
"The letter she wrote Tommy," he
murmured to himself, sitting down at his desk and getting out his books to
start on his homework assignment. "Man, I wish I'd been here when she
wrote it." He didn't know if he could have done anything to make
matters right for his friends, but couldn't shake the feeling that maybe, just
maybe
however, that particular ship had long left the harbor, and there was
no way Jason was able to change now what had happened at the time.
By now, Tommy refused to talk about the
break-up at all that in itself being a sign that deep down, it still ate at
him. The Red Ranger hadn't wanted to burden his best friend with his personal
problems during their brief stint as Zeo Rangers, or so he'd claimed;
truthfully, they had hardly had time to catch their breaths with all the other
things that were going on around them. Graduation and geographical distance
right after he'd lost the Gold Powers had also played a part in delaying
things, and now, nearly a year later, the right moment to get to the bottom of
everything had come and gone several times over and had been missed every
time.
*Maybe I should've FORCED Tommy to
talk,* Jason mused, his mind on anything but the essay he was supposed to
write. A fool could see that all was not well about his friend's emotional
state, his relationship with Kat notwithstanding. Come to think of it, that
wasn't going too well, either. Logically, Kim's quiet withdrawal should have
strengthened the budding romance, but Jason had been shocked to see how rocky
things had become during his stay at summer school. Instead of growing closer,
Tommy and Kat seemed to be imperceptibly drawing apart something that wasn't
helped by the fact that Tommy still carried a picture of Kim in his
wallet. Tucked away at the back, yes, but it was still there
and Kat knew it.
The former Gold Ranger couldn't blame the lovely Australian for feeling hurt;
who wouldn't be, under the circumstances? Yet outwardly, they acted as if
nothing was wrong, as if they were deeply in love, even going so far as making
tentative plans for the future.
*Thankfully, they're not really serious.
Yet.*
All of them were finding it hard to
adjusting to civilian life again after months and years of living on the edge
day in and day out; the gang were taking each day as it came, easing back into
normalcy by degrees and for once letting the future take care of itself. The
only ones who had made the transition relatively smoothly were Adam and Tanya.
Their chosen careers meshed well, and for once shy Adam had not hesitated to
reach out for what he wanted Tanya was wearing his ring, they shared an
apartment and the two planned on getting married as soon as they were finished
with their education.
Sighing, Jason leaned back, his books
forgotten. This whole situation was such a mess
he cared for both Kimberly
and Tommy, he had a lot of admiration for Kat as well, but how could he help
any of them if they wouldn't tell him or anybody, for that matter what was
on their minds?
"I can't do this alone," Jason
finally decided. Trini was right, something had gone terribly wrong
somewhere, and it just wasn't in any of the Rangers' natures to withhold
support from a friend if they could help it. If she could even sense it from a
distance
Ergo, it was up to all of them to at least try to get to the
root of the problem. *Problems, plural.* Quickly, Jason rummaged for his
calendar and checked the time. If he hurried, he just might catch Adam
and Tanya still at home; Adam knew Kim and Tommy, Tanya was Kat's best friend
maybe together they could find a way out of this whole mess. Sparing only a
fleeting thought for his unfinished assignment, Jason jumped up and grabbed his
car keys.
*Homework can wait; this can't!*
~*~
"I'm sorry, Jason I don't think I
can help," Tanya said, folding Trini's letter and handing it back to him.
"I only met Kimberly that one time right after Muranthias, and while we
got along well enough, those few days were hardly enough toget to know her.
Besides, I wouldn't know what she was like before."
"A lot more lively than this
summer," Adam contributed, handing Jason a drink he'd fetched from the
kitchen. The slim Asian sank onto the couch next to Tanya, sporting a pensive
frown. "I hadn't thought about it before after all, we were kinda
distracted at the time, remember? but Trini's right. It's as if Kim has lost
that
that spark she always seemed to have."
"That's the impression I had, too,
when I invited her to go scuba diving," Jason murmured gloomily, sipping
his soda. "Only, the way things turned out, it wasn't really cut out to
make her confide in anybody, was it?"
"What happened to you both wasn't your
fault, Jason," Tanya said immediately, leaning forward and laying a
comforting hand on his knee. "It was Divatox, and Maligore's. You couldn't
have known that she'd pick that weekend to try and invade Earth."
Adam nodded in assent, smiling reassuringly at his former teammate.
"Tanya's right, man. Besides, if it
hadn't been you, she'd have tried to feed Bulk and Skull to Maligore. Can you
imagine them claiming to be his children?"
"He'd have disowned them right away
and spit them out even faster than Kim and you," Tanya snorted,
unable to suppress the acerbic comment. "Instead of world domination, all they'd
have given him would've been one giant case of indigestion!"
Startled, the two young men looked at the
erstwhile Yellow Ranger, who met their dark eyes defiantly. "Well, they
would!" Then, the silliness of the idea struck all three, and they broke
into laughter, dispelling the somber mood Jason had brought.
After a minute or so, Jason sobered again.
He picked up Trini's letter and put it back into his wallet, sighing deeply.
"That still doesn't help me with what to do about the whole Tommy/Kim/Kat
mess, though," he muttered. Debating silently with himself for a bit, he
then decided that it couldn't hurt to share some impressions. He knew that
neither Adam nor Tanya would carry their conversation further than this room.
Still, his voice was hesitant as he voiced his vague concerns for the first
time.
"Guys
please don't take this wrong,
I don't want to make trouble for anybody, but
is it just me, or are things
between Tommy and Kat not quite the way they used to be, before you guys got
the Turbo Powers? Or even should be?"
His remark was met by a thoughtful silence
as Tanya shared a glance with Adam, who shrugged, then smiled a bit wryly.
"No, it's not just you," he admitted finally. "As a matter of
fact, Tanya said something to me along those lines not very long ago."
The dark-skinned girl lifted a cautionary
hand. "Mind, Kat hasn't said anything to me; actually, the one time I
asked about how things stood between her and Tommy, she was positively gushing
about how wonderful everything was. It's more in the things she doesn't say
that make me think not everything's as rosy as they both want us to
believe."
"Like what?" Jason asked,
intrigued. Tanya's remark expressed quite neatly what he'd felt whenever Tommy
mentioned his girlfriend in his presence. The right words were all there, but
they seemed to lack a certain depth, or conviction lately.
The ex-Yellow Ranger frowned slightly,
trying to pinpoint what was so difficult to define.
"I don't really know," she mused,
remembering conversations she'd had with her best friend. "It's hard to
describe
it's almost as if Kat was trying not only to convince me, but most
of all herself that everything's just fine between her and Tommy."
"Like she was just going through the
motions? Saying and doing what she thinks she should feel, not
what she does feel?"
"That's maybe a bit harsh, but
yeah."
"But why?" Jason exclaimed
frustratedly, jumping up and starting to pace. "I thought that Tommy had
put Kim behind him, that he'd come to terms with things. Why else would he have
asked Kat out in the first place? From what you told me, Adam, he was almost as
bashful about it as when he was in the beginning with Kimberly
" He could
still vividly recall Zack's chortling report. Of course, losing the Green
Ranger Powers before he even got up the courage to ask her for a date had
overshadowed a lot of things, but it had all worked out so well then
Adam shrugged helplessly.
"I really don't know," he
admitted. "They certainly seemed happy enough to me, the last time I've
seen them together."
Tanya made a small, involuntary noise, and
found both young men looking at her curiously. Jason resumed his seat, waiting
for her to continue. Blushing, she squirmed a little, but realized she'd have
to talk if they wanted to find a way to help their friends.
"Well," she said slowly, "I
don't know if you ever noticed, Adam, but Kat has had a huge crush on
Tommy ever since she met him. Aisha mentioned something like that when she told
me about all of you guys, and I could see for myself that it was true once I
came to Angel Grove."
"She had?" Adam was clearly
surprised.
"Oh yes. Only, Tommy was still with
Kim, and Kat never wanted to come between them, or so she told me especially
not after everything Kim had done for her after she'd shaken off Rita's spell.
But when that letter came
she might as well have been wearing a neon
sign."
"Really?"
"Yes, really," Tanya confirmed,
just the tiniest bit exasperated. Didn't the guys have eyes to see? "Don't
tell me you never noticed that Kat was wearing a necklace and even a sweater
with Tommy's Zeo symbol! Or that she was always mooning over him when she
thought nobody was looking? Heck, she even set up that romantic dinner with
whatshername, that snowboarding champ, to help him get over Kimberly!"
"Oh boy," Jason muttered.
"She must really have had it bad. And knowing how dense Tommy can be at
times
"
"Exactly."
The former Green Turbo Ranger leaned back,
a puzzled frown on his face as he mulled over his fiancιe's words, trying to
remember those days. He could call up a few vague impressions, but they'd all
been too busy fighting the Machine Empire, coping with a new set of Powers,
losing Billy
not to mention that his own attention had been far more concentrated
on Tanya than any other girl before or since.
"I don't get it," he finally
sighed. "If Kat was so much after Tommy, why would she now be losing
interest? Or he in her? That is what you're both saying, right?"
"It certainly seems that way,"
Tanya admitted somewhat reluctantly after sharing a confirming glance with
their visitor.
"Beats me," Jason shrugged next.
"When I came back, Tommy already seemed to have only eyes for her."
He emptied his glass, then looked thoughtful. "Although
at the time, I
kinda thought it was awfully fast for Tommy to date another girl."
"Could it be that it was more defiance
than anything else for him?" Tanya ventured after a brief silence.
"You know, sort of to show everybody that he was over Kim, that he could
find someone new when she had, too
"
"Possible," Jason conceded.
"If he thought he needed to salvage his pride
or save face
whatever."
"But what about Kat?" Adam
queried. "Even if she was head over heels for Tommy, wouldn't she
have noticed somehow that he wasn't really in love with her?" This whole
discussion made him vaguely uncomfortable; not only because he was talking
about his friends behind their backs, but also because this kind of
introspection was very foreign to him despite his customary sensitivity.
"Not if she'd convinced herself that
he was Mr. Right that it was more than just a crush," Tanya thought out
loud.
"And not if Tommy was playing possum
hiding from his problems and unresolved issues instead of facing them. Man, I
thought we'd taught him to get over that tendency of his!" The first Red
Ranger shook his head. "When I think back on how hard it was to get him to
talk out his guilt over his stint as the Evil Green Ranger
I'd honestly
believed he'd learned his lesson!"
"Apparently not." Her dry remark
made Adam and Jason chuckle involuntarily, and Tanya spun the thought out
further. "In any case, looks as if both Tommy and Kat are trying to live
an illusion, and now, when they're apart so much she studying in London, he
on the racing circuit it's beginning to fall apart bit by bit."
"They're still fighting for their
relationship," Jason reminded them, feeling as if his talk with his
friends had given him at least some insight into what was going on with
his best friend. "I can't help but wonder, though is that a good thing?
And what can we do about Kim? From what Trini said in her letter, she's not as
happy as she wants us to believe, either."
"I don't know," Adam and Tanya
chorused, grinning briefly. "Whatever it is, we'll have to let them find
out for themselves. All three of them." The dark-skinned young woman was
adamant in her conviction.
"Yeah. And be there for them when the
brown stuff hits the fan," Adam added.
"Eeeeewww!!! That's gross!"
"True, though." Jason snickered
at Tanya's disgusted expression and heaved himself to his feet again. Getting
serious once more, he took his leave. "Thanks for letting me come and
talk, guys," he thanked the couple earnestly. "At least I know that
I'm not totally out of line with what I thought I've seen."
"You're not. And thanks for taking us
in your confidence," Tanya replied, hugging her friend warmly as they
escorted Jason to the door. "It's just a shame we can't help more."
*But they DID help,* Jason mused as
he drove home. *Just having someone to talk things over with always does. If
only Kat, Kim and Tommy realized that! Well
I just hope they know who to come
to when they're ready!*
Feeling at least a little relieved, he
turned his mind reluctantly back towards his homework assignment, postponing
giving Trini a reply until another day.
~~***~~
Kat to Tommy
"
I've just
returned from my vacation trip to the Continent. We were nine people, from all
over Europe (well, except me, of course), and everybody played tourist guide to
the rest. So, within three weeks, we got to see places that were both touristy
and things only a native can show you properly. We took a ferry to Calais, went
all the way south through France to the Cτte d'Azure, then drove along the
coast to Monaco and Italy. All the while I kept thinking how much you'd have
loved driving along the Corniche
those winding curves are a challenge for every
driver! And the view over the Mediterranean is just awesome! Anyway, from
there we went North again, through Switzerland into Austria, then on to
Germany, a quick visit across the border into Denmark, then back to Calais via
the Netherlands and Belgium. It was so much fun, but also terribly confusing
a good thing we always had at least one person along who spoke the local
language! Oh, I've got to tell you what happened in Bellinzona
that's
in Switzerland, but the Italian-speaking part. Anyway, Luigi, who's from
Sicily, was trying to show us the absolutely right way of how a Sicilian
pizza is prepared, dragged us to this perfectly awful little place, and
"
Tommy smiled as he read the really
quite humorous account of how misunderstandings occurred just because of
differences in dialect, and quickly scanned the rest of Kat's letter. He had
been on the circuit for nearly six weeks, and only now come back to Angel
Grove. His parents would only forward his business mail, keeping personal
messages for his increasingly infrequent visits home; maybe not the best way to
handle things, but the only way Tommy could think of without having to hire
some kind of secretary. And despite his growing popularity on the stock car
circuit, he still wanted to keep his private life just that private. *Good
thing the gang all know and accept that.*
However, it made communication with his
girlfriend problematic at times, especially when Kat took off from London to
somewhere else, like this trip. Not that he begrudged her the relaxation or the
fun, but deep down he would have preferred to know where she was at any given
time; no doubt a legacy of the time when his family had moved around so much
before settling in this California town that had become his home.
The truth of the matter was, Tommy Oliver
wanted roots. Needed them in a way he hadn't known he did until he'd found a
home with his friends in Angel Grove. And while his own current lifestyle and
choice of profession was by necessity rather nomadic, he also knew that it was
only temporary, not meant to be permanent.
He searched for and found the snippets
where Kat told him she'd missed him, that she had wished to share things
with him, and it was gratifying to know that she felt that way, but Tommy still
felt curiously unsettled by her message.
*Something's missing.*