Archive for April 2011
I know it’s been pretty quiet here at Stellar Path this week. Busy week at work. Nothing bad, just busy.
Today is Tina and my six month anniversary. Our half-iversary. We were married six months ago.
You can read about it here.
We’re going out to celebrate.
Be back this weekend. Have a great Friday!
I skipped my weekly countdown to Run For Your Lives last weekend. Sorry; last weekend was crazy busy, the following work week was even busier, and now, as I sit sidelined with an injury, is the first real time I’ve had in a while to sit down and collect my thoughts.
Okay, not entirely true. I posted about my planned month-long attempt at intuitive eating that started on April 1st. So far, so good. I’m feeling mentally good, I’m feeling physically good, and I am truly looking forward to weighing in on May 1st and hopefully seeing a significant loss.
I’m going to combine this update with the story of my 2nd 5K, because the two are very closely related. So before I go on to describe the update of my training plan for Run For Your Lives, let me tell you a bit about our experience at the 3rd Annual Buffalo Crossing 5K in Munfordville, Kentucky.
This was a much smaller race with about 150 participants as opposed to the 500+ present at last weekend’s Family Enrichment Center 5K. Not a problem. It was also in my hometown, which was a nice bonus. (After the race, we went to visit my parents. And I actually saw my dad during the race, because he is the president of the local Rescue Squad and they volunteered to block off the intersections so we didn’t get run over. He was our only cheering section during the entire race except for the finish line.
And a quick photo of Tina and I before the race… much warmer than last weekend, which was nice. (Note: You can also see the tattoo on my lower left leg that I want to get removed at some point.)
The race started in Thelma Stovall Park by Green River. I realize if you aren’t from Munfordville, that pretty much means nothing to you. Just know that it meant that, as soon as the race started, we would have a VERY steep, 1/8 mile climb out of Thelma Stovall Park to get to the historic downtown streets where the rest of the 5K took place.
I don’t mind saying that the first hill kicked our butts. It is seriously a tremendously steep hill. It is probably the steepest hill I have ever walked up. Very few people were even able to jog up it.
The rest of the race went up and down the remarkably hilly streets of Munfordville. It was a surprisingly strenuous course. Even though I more or less grew up in Munfordville, (I actually lived in the country NEAR Munfordville), I had no idea how hilly this little town of 1,700 people actually was.
The last ½ mile of the course took us back to Thelma Stovall park where we finished on a very uneven, rocky, dangerous “walking” course. It would have been tremendously easy to turn an ankle. I was very relieved to finally cross the finish line at fifty-ish minutes. I can’t give you a time more exact than that because the timing system was… well, it was pretty much a guy with a clipboard and a stopwatch.
My thoughts on this race: Suckfest. Hated it. I am SO glad I did the 5K I did last weekend first, because if this had been the first road race I had EVER done, I would probably have never done another one. It was poorly organized, and those of us who signed up for the walk (instead of the run) were told at the start line that we were not allowed to run. Pfft. Tina and I ran past the guy who announced that just for spite. I get his point; people who ran during the walk portion can throw off their awards system. Well, I had no plans to place high enough as a walker or runner to receive a medal.
As far as race swag, nothing but a t-shirt. I will concede that it is a nice t-shirt, even if it is the brightest pink I’ve ever seen.
Last weekend at my 5K, I said I was going to write the name of someone who inspired me on my arm as inspiration. I thought that was a great idea, as a lot of people have inspired me to get to this point. While that remains true, the words of Carla a.k.a MizFit also rang really strongly in my ears this week, too.
“I am my own superhero.”
Truer words have never been spoken. While I am grateful to everyone (and I forget tons of people off of the list I posted last weekend – one of my main fears for creating such a list!), I must also acknowledge that I am doing this for me. So I did this 5K with no sharpie tattoos. All me.
I wish I could keep this 5K story from being a total downer, but I’m afraid I have even more bad news. I have a pretty severe case of bursitis at the moment.
Okay, maybe it’s not severe. Maybe it’s mild. All I know is that there is clearly an inflammation on the back of my right heel, it hurts in a BIG way, and I am currently hobbling when I walk.
I’m blaming it on three things. One, I am obese. That’s obviously a big contributor.
Two, my shoes suck. They are old and clearly no longer do the work they should. (Tina and I took a trip to Shoe Carnival this afternoon to remedy this.)
And three, I pound when I run or walk, and I was running/walking on pavement. Bad move. I’ve really, sadly come to the conclusion that I am not meant to run on pavement until I’ve lost some more weight. Last weekend, my right heel hurt pretty severely, and I was pretty much on ice-pack detail for two days. Same this weekend, only it hurts more. I’m not insane; something must change.
So, the 5K plan is being temporarily scrapped. I still hope to someday do 223 5Ks, but while I am now two down, the other 221 are going to have to wait for a while. It does me no good to injure myself and prevent me from doing any substantial exercise.
Now, all that being said, I do still have the Run For Your Lives coming up on October 22nd, and I am still immensely excited about it. It’s not just a 5K; it’s also an obstacle course. So there is still TONS of training that I can do.
I’m going to continue doing 5Ks at the gym. The treadmill is more cushioned than pavement, and it doesn’t hurt. (Please note – if it starts hurting on the treadmill, too, then I’ll have to modify this yet again.)
The Run For Your Lives is also an obstacle course, so there is plenty of strength and agility training we can do, too. We’re going to keep hitting the weight room hard. We’re going to keep doing yoga and stretching, and we’re going to incorporate some plyometrics, too.
Zombies beware. I may be injured (note to Zombies: my right heel is especially tough, so if I am caught and you decide to eat me, I won’t be offended if you give my right heel to your zombie dogs.) but I am not down.
Zombie movie of the week?
28 Days Later.
Just a little over six months to go. I’ve still got TONS of training left to do!
This is something I’ve been thinking very hard about for the past week, and I’ve decided that yes, for the benefit of my own mental health, this is something that I need to do. I’m making this sound WAY more serious than it is, so I’ll just get right to the punchline.
For the next month, I am going to try intuitive eating.
I will also not stand on the scale again until May 1st.
So what was my April 1st weight?
Two pounds less than two weeks ago.
Twelve pounds less than the first of the year.
This is SLOW going. I know that. And since it is such slow going, that’s what ultimately led me to decide to try giving up the scale for a month. I live and die by the scale too much. It’s just a number. I need to celebrate the amazing things my body can do, regardless of weight.
Okay, so why the intuitive eating?
I have a disordered view of food. I personally think that every overweight person does. (With the exception of a truly tiny, tiny portion of people whose weight is 100% caused by a thyroid or hormonal issue.) I’m not being disparaging; I’m being honest. I know that if I had a healthy view of food, I would view it as fuel and nothing more.
I’ve come a LONG way in my views of food. I used to binge regularly. I binge far less often now.
I used to eat mindlessly at all times. I would put my food in my mouth while I was already chewing food. I would do “the sigh” to give myself more room to eat.
Sometimes, I still do these things. More often than I would like.
And when I’m on a healthy eating plan, I just shift my eating issues into a method that will allow me to lose weight. Counting every single calorie. Measuring every bite of food that goes into my mouth. I’ve even set timers before so I would know when my next meal would be, and I would eat it exactly then, not a minute sooner or later.
It’s just occurred to me lately how many of us in the weight loss world are obsessed with food.
For the next month, I’m going to try and start getting over my issues.
I’m not measuring my food with anything other than my eyes and stomach.
I’m concentrating on eating healthier, but I will not have a no-foods-allowed list.
When I’m full, I’ll stop eating. (I hope I know when I’m full.)
That’s it. Why these things? Doing a little research on my own has led me to realize that people with healthy attitudes toward food do these things.
Why am I not measuring food? Because it makes me obsess about it. God gave me a stomach that has triggers that will let me know when I’m full. I have to start listening to them.
Please understand that I do not expect this to be an easy thing for me. Thirty plus years of eating until my stomach was stuffed and distended will not disappear in a month. However, I do have to start somewhere, and this is where I am choosing to start.
Why am I not following a specific plan but am only concentrating on eating healthier? Because if I count calories or points or carbs or WHATEVER it is, I obsess over it. Instead, I am going to let that go and view food as fuel. The better the fuel is, the better my engine will run. Simple as that. I know plenty of thin people without eating disorders who can eat a cupcake without getting distressed over it. I can’t. Heck, I can’t even eat three bananas in a day without getting distressed over it. I need to stop letting food control me, and the primary way for me to do that is to remove its significance. One way for me to remove its significance is to stop thinking about it so much. It is fuel. Some of it tastes good. Some of it is good for me. Some of it, fortunately, is both. That’s all I’m focusing on.
When I’m full, I’ll stop eating.
Part of me automatically thinks, “But if you could do that, you never would have gotten over 400 pounds!”
Well, yes. That’s true. But I also recognize that the me yelling that in the dark recesses of my brain is the me that wants me to binge eat. I can do anything I want to do. I can LEARN to have a healthy, mental attitude toward food. It’s going to take a lot of work, but I really feel like this is the first step. I must learn to recognize my body’s responses to food.
I’m viewing this as the next logical step on my journey. Over the past five years or so, I’ve gone from someone who binged regularly to someone who binges only occasionally. I hope to eventually become someone who has a healthy relationship with food.
I see myself as someone who chooses to eat grilled chicken breast, steamed green beans, and a baked sweet potato because that is good, solid fuel for my body. I will not be that person who eats cupcakes every day. I will be the person who eats cupcakes on special occasions because they taste good. And doesn’t feel guilty about it.