Archive for October 2010
How do I get motivated again?
I have a weigh-in tomorrow. I’m pretty sure I’ll even post a loss, if for no other reason than that coming back from vacation does necessitate some return to normal eating.
I’m probably more worried right now than I have been in a while, because I have ZERO motivation.
Logically, I can make a list of reasons to be motivated to lose weight and become healthy.
1. I want to be a dad someday, and I don’t want to be a fat dad.
2. I want to be a healthy husband so I can live a long life with Tina.
3. I want to be able to buy clothing off the rack.
4. I want to not have trouble tucking in a shirt.
5. I want to not worry if I’ll fit in a chair with arms.
There are a lot more than five reasons.
But I’m just finding myself unmotivated. I have little desire to go to the gym. I could care less what I eat.
This isn’t a post to literally ask for advice on how to get motivated. I know what I would say to someone else if they posed that question to me. I know all the platitudes. (I will still happily take advice, by the way.)
This is something I have to figure out for myself. I need to go Dr. Phil on myself.
Because honestly, it isn’t working for me right now.
Do I count calories? Do I follow WW again? Intuitive eating?
Or should I just do what I apparently want and eat myself into an early grave?
Here is what I know about me.
Cold turkey anything does not work for me.
WW worked phenomenally in the past. (The program itself more than meetings.)
I love to work out when I do it regularly.
I don’t have a game plan yet. I’m still weighing in tomorrow. And I’m definitely going to do some deep soul searching today.
This is for life. Why aren’t I more invested?
I have not weighed in since September 27th, officially. I do Monday weigh-ins, right? Eh, maybe I do Wednesday weigh-ins. Yeah, this is a Wednesday weigh-in, and I’ll decide fairly soon what day of the week I’ll stick with.
But on September 27th, I weighed 335.8.
Then I got married!
That’s a picture of us doing our first dance. We knew we didn’t want our first dance to just be a simple matter of swaying to some love song, so we learned the rumba and danced our hearts out to Michael Buble’s “Everything.” We even got applause during the song. Sadly, the camcorder was not on at the time, so you’ll just have to take my word for it. Oh, and tons of wedding pictures, which I’ll get pretty soon. In fact, as soon as our wedding pictures are in, I’m going to create a webpage all about the wedding, so those of you who want to check out all of the details of one of the best nights of my life will be able to.
I’m also going to start a Travel Blog in a few weeks, in which I’ll detail all about our honeymoon to Antigua and share literally HUNDREDS of pictures. I love to travel, even though I don’t get to do it too often, and it has occurred to me on more than one occasion that it would be a good idea to keep a journal when I travel. The journal should help me remember more details, right? After all, how many trips have I taken where the eventual memories are just a hazy blur of a good time?
But for now, I’ve got a weigh-in to complete.
The Post-Honeymoon Weigh-In
October 20, 2010
Change from Last Weigh-In: +8.4 pounds
Change from All-Time High: -58.9 pounds
You know what? I’ll take it. I weighed in at 354 two days ago. Traveling always makes me retain water, but I’m afraid that the eight pounds is real fat that I gained. I definitely ate way too much food on the honeymoon. But again, no regrets. It’s what I do from here on out that count, not what I did in the past, even if it was just last week.
Lots more to come soon. Mucho thanks to Erin, Molly, and Tara for watching the place while I was away!
We are back from the paradise known as Antigua. I am SO behind on everything, but it was so worth it. Tons of sun, pool, food (too much food – more on that later, but oy – definitely time to get back on the diet band wagon), drinks, heat, and tons of time with my new wife.
I’ll post tons later – I’ll have wedding pictures, lliterally hundreds of honeymoon pictures, and tons of stories.
But for now, just a quick picture. This is the only cloudy sky we saw there the entire time, and it happened on our very first day on the island. Good omen, don’t you think?
I remember the first time I found Tara’s blog, 263 and counting. At the time, she was in week three of Couch to 5K. In the past year, I have watched Tara physically transform herself from an overweight woman into a smokin’ hot triathlete. I can’t even begin to say how honored I am to have Tara fill in for me while I’m away. 🙂
I carry around a small notepad with me wherever I go. It has several different functions: I use it to keep track of my calories and to write down ideas for future blog posts. Through out my day I will often hear things come out of people’s mouth and I immediately think “oh that’s going to make for a good blog post someday”
Today is one of those days. When Jeremy asked me to do a guest post for him while he’s off getting hitched (Congratulations!), I quickly perused my list and what did my little blogging mind come across?
The word “spouse” is loosely used for this particular post since not everyone reading this may be married. Think of it to mean as anyone in your life that you think needs to lose weight. We all have someone in our life that we wish would get on the same band wagon as us and make better choices with their food or move a little more. We start to get a taste for what it feels like to lose weight, take control and actually meet some goals and all we want is for the ones we love to get what we’re getting…
Nine months ago, my husband and I weighed a combined 600 pounds. Let me say that again: 600 POUNDS! I woke up one day in December and decided enough was enough for me. Not too much longer after losing my first 20 pounds I decided it was time for my husband to get on the band wagon…bad Tara bad. Why is that bad? He wasn’t ready and more often than not instead of making decisions based on what I needed I continued to make decisions based on what he wanted. I wanted to make better food choices. He wanted to eat out. Guess who won? I wanted to eat appropriate serving sizes. He wanted to go back for seconds and thirds. Guess who joined him on those helpings? I wanted to walk to the ice cream parlor for one scoop of pralines and cream. He wanted to go to food store and buy quarts of peppermint ice cream. Guess who drove?
I started to resent him. I started to blame him for my lack of determination. I blamed him for my inability to move more and eat less. I mean hello, we’re fat let’s get this party started and lose some damn weight. Then I realized something:
I was ready and I needed to stand up for myself and not let his decisions influence my decisions. I needed to understand that this was my journey and not our journey. I needed to let go of the resentment and move forward even if that meant leaving my husband sitting on the couch while I cried on the streets running the second week of the couch to 5k program (and all the subsequent weeks that followed).
I lost the weight I needed to lose. I learned the skills I needed to learn to make healthy choices. I relied on my own determination to keep going. I got thinner, faster, fitter and stronger. My husband continued to sit on the couch and make excuses…
Fast forward to today and as I write this post, my husband is on the Wii* sweating like a man on a mission. We no longer weigh a combined 600 pounds. We’ve lost a small sized woman (about 130 pounds) and his food choices are nothing like what they were 9 months ago. He’s determined to move more and eat less. He’s determined to make healthier choices and he’s determined to move forward on this journey…
When we stop forcing others to behave like us and focus on making ourselves the top priority something magical happens: We become role models. We show those around us that change is possible, that change is good and that goals can be achieved. When we stop blaming others for what they aren’t doing and take the responsibility for what we are doing, we are showing the one’s we love that we’re important enough to ourselves to take control no matter the situation…
* It took me over an hour to write this post and guess who is still on the Wii?