September 13, 2010
Monday
Today’s Weight 336.9
Total Lost 65.9

If you’ve known me for a while, you may know that I have been obese my entire life. Seriously, from the age of four to pretty much now, I’ve been overweight. I guess I maybe had a more positive school experience than some obese teens, because I don’t remember any true horror stories from growing up.

Now don’t get me wrong – I wasn’t so self-confident that I had it all figured out except for my weight. I still didn’t date until college (and well into college, at that), but I don’t really remember being picked on or made fun of or anything like that. However, I do remember desperately wanting to look like the football players or the guys who would take their shirts off without hesitation. I was deeply ashamed of the way I looked, but I wouldn’t really do anything to change it.

That’s not to say I wasn’t acutely aware of my obesity, and I went through the motions of wanting to change. And you know what (or should I say who?) all of my weight loss efforts revolved around in the early-to-mid 1990s when I was in high school?

Richard Simmons.

I remember seeing him on QVC in the summer before 8th grade, and he had his Deal-a-Meal kit. I still remember the price, $89.95. It came with the actual Deal-a-Meal and two workout tapes. There was also Project Me, which was a motivational audio series. Oh, and probably a cookbook, too. I wanted it, and without even asking, my mom asked if I’d like for her to get it for me.

Yes!

It came UPS a few days later. I remember watching Sweatin’ to the Oldies 3 before I actually did the workout. “I can do this. These people are fat and they’re exercising. I can do it too!” This wasn’t my first workout video (more on that in a future post) but it was my first Richard Simmons workout video, which as far as I was concerned was the holy grail of exercise.

I read through the Deal-a-Meal directions and hit my first snag. “1600 calories? That can’t be right. And I only get 1,000 for the first week?!”

Suffice it to say, I never succeeded at Deal-a-Meal. I felt like I couldn’t eat the foods I wanted, and while I tried (repeatedly), I don’t think I ever made it more than a single day.

I’m not going to blame Richard Simmons. I actually have a great deal of respect for him, and I was actually kinda sad the day I realized that I had exercised so much the Sweatin’ tapes were no longer an aerobic challenge for me.

But I just didn’t see myself able to succeed on a diet that limited my food that severely. Deal-a-Meal would allow you to eat whatever you wanted, but in moderation. I didn’t get that concept at the time. If it took almost all of my bread cards just to have a slice or two of pizza, then what the heck was I supposed to eat for the rest of the day?

I get moderation now. I have tried to do “diets” where I refuse myself certain foods, and I have never succeeded. If anything, refusing a certain food has caused me to crave it more. Instead, I now strive to find a balanced eating plan (which I fully intend to live on forever) where I eat lots of healthy foods and the occasional “not-as-healthy” food in moderation. I can eat one Pop Tart; I shouldn’t eat the whole box. But even if I do, so what? Chalk it up to experience, move on, and I’ll do better tomorrow.

This has to be a lifestyle change; I know that. Deal-a-Meal could have taught me that, but I got caught up in the other stuff. I guess in 1991, I just wasn’t ready to change yet. In 2010, I finally am.

Day by Day 002
September 13, 2010

Blueberry Toast
Watermelon
Pomegranate Applesauce
Cereal with skim milk
Lean Cuisine Pizza
Honey Mustard Mixed Nuts
Homemade Chicken and Dumplings with Veggies
Zone bar
Ham and cheese panini
Crackers & Laughing Cow Cheese
Grapes

Approximate daily calories = 2150

Today was a late work day, so we only got in about forty minutes of cardio at the gym. I’m tired; bed time.

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